Happy (almost) Friday

Hi lovelies!!

I am sorry if I missed some of your posts. I tried to get them into a word doc so I could read them away from the computer, and I had them all copied and pasted and it crashed :( I went back to my reader and everything was marked as read! So terribly sorry if I missed your post :(

Well the weather was rainy today :( I hate that! Luckily, all of my classes had no windows today, so I didn't have to see the awful weather! I usually hate not having windows in my classes, but when the weather sucks, I don't mind it so much ;]

The only major thing I did at school was I took a chemistry test, and I think I did pretty well. I was planning on telling B about my ED like I said I was going to, but with the test, I didn't even have any time, and she didn't ask :/ I don't know what to think, I mean I guess it is easier not to say anything, but I was ready to. I really like the idea of busting the myths and taboo around ED's before I move! We'll see what happens...

After school, I had a German club event! It was so fun, we just played card games and made these things called Scherenschnitte, where you cut out an ornate shape out of a piece of paper. It is harder than it looks!

Here is mine

I have been a bit confused latley about my future and career options. I thought I had it figured out. I want to be a psychologist / therapist. Now I am reading that book I told you about, Rediscovering Your Self (great by the way, I defiantly recommend), I read about how the "caretaker" role is very often a part of the ED identity. Dr. Sacker (the author) talks about how his approach to recovery is replacing the ED identity with that of yourself. I This made me wonder if in fact my desire to help others in the field of psychology could possibly just be another aspect of my ED. I mean, I never really wanted to do this in the past, but I am more mature now, and maybe it is the right occupation for me? I don't know right now. On one hand, I don't see how wanting to help people could ever be a bad thing, but on the other hand, I can see how it could be my ED playing a role in my thought process here. What do you all think? I would love to hear your input on this one...

one more pic for you all!  My mom bought these strawberries yesterday and they are THE BIGGEST strawberries I have EVER seen!!

here it is in all of it's glory! hehehe

And here is one for perspective.  

Look at it next to the keys and the spoon!!

Goodbye for now!

Wishing all of you a fantastic Friday!!

Scott

a new realization

I just want to thank you all so much for all your insightful and uplifting comments :] It is really interesting to hear what you all have to say about complete recovery. I have really learned a lot from you guys! After reading these comments, I really feel that it is possible to fully recovery from an ED. If nothing else, this realization is so encouraging that we do not have to live with this demon inside of us for the rest of our lives! And I will never find out if it is possible for me if I do not try it for myself. So that is what I want to do, what I must do. This is what I am going to do :)

Book Update: I read the beginnings of both books from my last post, and I really like Regaining Yourself, but Inside Out is a bit upsetting :( I just want to warn you that it may be triggering to some.

Today was awesome!! Nothing really special happened, but I was just so happy from reading all of your posts that I read throughout the day ;] I had math, ugh :/ but I got a lot of homework done, so that was good. Then I had health with a sub and we watched the. most. boring. video. EVER!! it was about fad diets, and was just a woman talking on the tv. borrrrringggg!!! Then we had band, which wasn't too bad. German was better than usual because we actually had our real teacher. Frau B ist sehr nett und cool! (das ist fuer dir Alexis ;)

Then the highlight of my day, the training ride =D It was so beautiful, and I felt so good! After being weak a lot of last year from ED, and continual discouragement because of it, I felt so awesome to be able to keep up today! We had a really fast ride and I ended up taking a flying sprint up the right side when the road opened up near the sprint point =D I think I may have one, but there wasn't really a "finish line" so to speak. Either way, it was such an accomplishment for me, and further encouragement that ED LIES because he never would have let me believe that I would be faster if I gained weight. Rigggghtttt... i gained XX pounds over the past year and a half and am faster, stronger, and feel better than ever! Take that ED!! Also on the ride, one of the guys I really look up to (he is amazingly fast) told me good ride and that it looked like I gained some muscle over the winter :] I was so proud, and I took it for what he meant it to be (a compliment), and not what ED thought it was (something to put me down) So it was quite awesome and I am so happy, and thankful for you and my family and all my other support, because I know all of you have helped me see things like this!!

Dinner was nothing to post about. Some take out chinese for the fam while I had a boca burger with a bit of chinese. good though!

So that was my day! This week is going by so fast no?

Have a great wednesday! You more than deserve it!!

Love you all!

Scott

That was pretty much my day,