Whoops!

I realized this morning that I forgot to address all of your wonderful insightful comments on my last post.  I want to thank you all for your insight about what to do  with my Cousin (the bride at the wedding.)  I want to help her, but at the same time there is very little that I can actually do.  When I was talking to her parents at dinner sunday night, they were saying that they hoped that being married to my cousin would be a turning point for her, and she would get better.  Of course, I don't know what will happen, but I think that for now it is best for me to pray for this new chapter in her life to close the door on ED.

Basically, THANK YOU for all of your advice.  You really help keep me down to earth and see both sides of the issue :)

Have a great Monday Loves!

Scott

Monday 3. April 2010

Hello everybody!  I hope you all had a nice Monday :]

My day went pretty well.  I guess it started a trend when I had a sub in math :]  It was still kinda really boring, but at least we didn't have to deal with Ms. ####  that is so awful!!  Then we watched a tv show in second period called Intervention.  Have any of you seen it?  It is pretty good in my opinion.  This episode was about a crack cocaine addict and a heroin addict.  They always have an intervention at the end (hence the name of the show)  and both of these people had been sober since 2007, so it ended on a positive note.

Then in third period (band), we had a a free day!  Third one in a row! :p  I just sat around and talked and memorised some stuff for German class.

Then German was fun as usual ;)  we always do so much in each and every day!  Today we talked about another fairy tale and started working on our own.

After school today, I planned on going on a bike ride.  So I got ready and left the house by about 5:30 to get up to the starting point by 6:15.  My mom was going to drive but I wanted to be sure I got there on time.  I am paranoid about being late, but I am always early!  Anyway so I got there and no sooner than I did, a storm blew in :(  We were deciding wether or not to ride and there was a huge cool down so we decided to leave.  It was a good decision because we got a royal downpour a few minutes later.  So I was glad to have gone home.

This however, brought with it a minor problem:  I had already eaten my bar to ride :/  I know it shouldn't really matter if I ride or not after eating it, but it is such a routine for me.  I have a hard time going above and beyond my usual meal plan (I use this term loosely, I don't have a MP so to speak, more of a pattern of eating that is possibly a bit more rigid than the average person).  So, the ride home was a bit stressful because of this, but I decided to ride indoors instead.  I am happy to say that I didn't ride indoors for very long at all.  Way less than I would have outside because it is so boring.  I think that earlier on in my recovery I would have done way more on the spin bike and this change in schedule would have bothered me tremendously.  But it is OK.  Will an extra few hundred calories kill me or make me a slower cyclist? NO!!  ED lies, I tell you what, are SO irrational, and each and every time I notice this, the happier and more independent of my ED I feel.

On to some eats to finish up this post...

A snack some day. Aren't these tiny carrots? So long and skinny! with blue corn tortilla chips

A cup of yogurt-filled to the brim :)

A smoothie I made tonight. I always seem to make too much. So I get to have some tomorrow ;]

Make tomorrow a great day!  I promise to give it my all :]

Scott

Happy (almost) Friday

Hi lovelies!!

I am sorry if I missed some of your posts. I tried to get them into a word doc so I could read them away from the computer, and I had them all copied and pasted and it crashed :( I went back to my reader and everything was marked as read! So terribly sorry if I missed your post :(

Well the weather was rainy today :( I hate that! Luckily, all of my classes had no windows today, so I didn't have to see the awful weather! I usually hate not having windows in my classes, but when the weather sucks, I don't mind it so much ;]

The only major thing I did at school was I took a chemistry test, and I think I did pretty well. I was planning on telling B about my ED like I said I was going to, but with the test, I didn't even have any time, and she didn't ask :/ I don't know what to think, I mean I guess it is easier not to say anything, but I was ready to. I really like the idea of busting the myths and taboo around ED's before I move! We'll see what happens...

After school, I had a German club event! It was so fun, we just played card games and made these things called Scherenschnitte, where you cut out an ornate shape out of a piece of paper. It is harder than it looks!

Here is mine

I have been a bit confused latley about my future and career options. I thought I had it figured out. I want to be a psychologist / therapist. Now I am reading that book I told you about, Rediscovering Your Self (great by the way, I defiantly recommend), I read about how the "caretaker" role is very often a part of the ED identity. Dr. Sacker (the author) talks about how his approach to recovery is replacing the ED identity with that of yourself. I This made me wonder if in fact my desire to help others in the field of psychology could possibly just be another aspect of my ED. I mean, I never really wanted to do this in the past, but I am more mature now, and maybe it is the right occupation for me? I don't know right now. On one hand, I don't see how wanting to help people could ever be a bad thing, but on the other hand, I can see how it could be my ED playing a role in my thought process here. What do you all think? I would love to hear your input on this one...

one more pic for you all!  My mom bought these strawberries yesterday and they are THE BIGGEST strawberries I have EVER seen!!

here it is in all of it's glory! hehehe

And here is one for perspective.  

Look at it next to the keys and the spoon!!

Goodbye for now!

Wishing all of you a fantastic Friday!!

Scott

Nebo ride and a tricky question

Hello all!

First I will update you all on yesterday sound good? The only major thing that happened in school was I gave my presentation in health over ED's! I was nervous, especially because my partner was really upset from her class before :/ It went really well though and i think we portrayed the disease in a very clear light so I was really happy :) And I got my homework done in band so it was a good day for me =D

Then I got home from school, and I found an email from the owner of the bike shop I interviewed at. He said he wanted me to work there, and he would pay $8 an hour. Great!! But then I realized that I will be moving over the summer :/ So I told him I would love to work for him until then, but I would understand if it wouldn't work out...

So today, I had extra time in engineering today and I got to look up some cycling teams in Arizona. I found quite a few, and one that is a U23 team (under 23 years old) that is sponsored and looks so awesome. I am going to apply tomorrow :]

Lunch was a tofu and avocado sammie! Yummy!!

In Chemistry I got a quiz back and I did OK (79) I was pretty happy because chem is SO hard!! The only really interesting thing that happened was that my friend B saw me eating a few food should taste good chips left over from my lunch, and asked what they were. I told her what they were and let her have one. Then we got talking about trader joes and stuff, and she asked me how I got to like eating so healthy. I was like "....um...... It is a long story." She wanted me to tell her but I don't know what to say! I told her I would think about it. Ya, awkward, but i didn't know what to do! I can't just be like "oh yeah, I had an eating disorder for the past year and a half" and then just stop talking! What would you do?

Then NEBO training ride tonight! (Nebo Ridge is the name of the bike shop it starts from.) I felt so awesome today! I rode with G again, and it was so much fun! I ended up in the front group of like 12, and we started out with around 50 riders. I was so happy because I think they all had to be at least cat 2-3. It was exhilarating!! I got another comment from one of my teammates. He said that I have made some major gains (performance) over the past two years. WOW! He is such a strong rider, so for him to say that, I was really happy :]

overall today was a good day for me. I hope you all have a Wonderful Wednesday!!

Scott