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Monday, May 17, 2010

Trip report and updates

Has it really been an entire week since I have blogged?!?!  I think it has!  I am about due then aren't I!

The important stuff first.  I have been struggling a bit lately.  I haven't lost any weight, but my eating habits are becoming a bit more ED like :( And I can see it with my own eyes but I don't know what to do!  I guess it is a really stressful time for me, with finals and the end of school coming up, my trip to Germany, and moving to Arizona.  I am excited for it all, but maybe it is all coming at me a bit too fast?  I don't know...  But that doesn't make it okay.  Why am I going back down this road if I know I don't want to?  I don't want to loose all that I have gained!  It is just a little bit of a change here and there, but the more I act on these thoughts the worse they will become.  And I know that but ugh :/   It makes me feel better just to write that though.  It has been bothering me the last couple of days...

So, the rest of my trip right?  Here it goes...

On tuesday morning (or was it wednesday.???) I had oats with some of this: 
Nom Nom Nom...

I also bought these which I have eaten over the past couple of days.  They are my first Raw Revolution bars and I must say they are quite good!  They have a bit of a different texture to them, but good nonetheless :]

Some pics from the plane... 


You can see the Indianapolis Speedway in this one!  Isn't that cool?!?!

And of course the house!~~

the breakfast nook.  I LOVE the natural light!!

the kitchen, AKA heart of the house ;]  I like the sink being in the island ;}

And here are a few ideas we want to implement for the yard.  Right now, it is a blank canvas!!


And lastly, I found this beautiful moth on a taxi parked next to my dad's car! 

Then I got back on wednesday night and on friday I headed up to Chicago to race on saturday morning!  I feel like a world travler!!

We stayed at my coach's mom's house.  She has hosted us for the past three years I have been here, and I am not sure how long before that.  She is so sweet!  They are a traditional Mexican family so it is always a home-made Mexican feast whenever we come over ;)  Tacos, but the kind the Mexicans meant for them to be!  They were great :)

Then the race(s) were on saturday.  My first race was at 8am for the juniors.  I felt well, but I ended up getting caught pulling at the front.  That means to block the wind for the rest of the group and use up more energy.  I tried to slow down but nobody would pass :/  Anyways, I did fine, but on the last turn I took a bad line and slowed down too much.  I wasn't where I needed to for the sprint so I got 7th.  I am ok with that though :)

Then the cat 4 race was at 3:45.  Two words that you need to know for this race.  BIG CRASH.  Yep.  I mean BIG!  The whole race went fine, except I was farther back in the pack than I would have liked.  I kept trying to move up then kept getting squished out the back.  I think I wasn't aggressive enough...  But then with two laps to go, I hear this huge crashing sound.  It takes me a second to figure out what is going on, and then there are bikes falling over to my right.  From what I am told, some team attacked off the front to start the sprint and they bumped some people and caused a domino effect.  All in all there were probably 20+ riders that went down all across the road.  I was near the back so I am so thank God I didn't go down.  The odds were definitely against me.  I slammed on my brakes and locked up the rear wheel for a second, then got it back under control and stopped.  As soon as I stopped it was like I re entered the world, cause I was like in a trance/survival mode during the crash.  I looked to my right and saw a guy moaning in pain, and a guy running by me screaming "where the f*** is my bike!!"  At that point I decided I should really try to help out, I couldn't finish any better anyways.  I tried to get the ambulance to come which they finally did.  It was a fiasco.  I rode over to the finish and saw some guy carrying his bike and his wheel was bent like a taco.  Ouch.  Not a good day for some.  I am so thankful I am safe.

Then sunday I went to Cincinnati to see my cousin that lives in Florida and is the head chef at a restaurant there.  My eating problems were noticeable there :(  They had lasagne and garlic bread, and I just sat there picking it apart and eating certain parts.  It is awful, and I know I am upsetting my family, and myself, but I feel like it is out of my control. Ugh...

So that is the end of my novel of a post.  Sorry it is so long, I just had a lot to say I guess!  Now I am off to study some more if I am good, but probably read some blogs before I go to bed and maybe watch a bit of tv ;)

Have a terrific Tuesday!!!!

Scott

4 comments:

  1. :( I can tell you are struggling and dont really know what to do Scott! And I dont really have any advice except to say that listening to your ED will NOT make any stress of moving and your Germany trip go away! That is a LIE! And you know the TRUTH! You know the LORD!!!! So Scott, listen to the TRUTH, and it will be so much easier to ignore the lies!!! I know from eperience! :)
    Another thing is great job on your race! The crash sounds like a bummer, but I am glad you did so good on the first race! :) 7th place is great, my favorite number! Thats the place I got at the state dive meet! :D
    I love all the pics, that moth is really neat!
    I miss talkiing to you, I hope we can chat soon!
    Maddi
    xxx

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  2. Scott,
    Eating out is difficult, escpecially when on vacations, because it is out of EDs comfort zone. My family travels alot, and I remember several vacations in my ED that caused me to break down. It doesn't have to be like that for you. Don't let minor setbacks become a major relapse! You can work with the place you re at now, stop it before things spiral out of control, and "reign it back in" to the place you were not too long ago. If nervousness about your future is a trigger, talk to someone about it. ED doesn't solve that, but venting might ease the anxiety a bit. I am here if you need ne ever! Keep your head up!

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  3. Hi there Scott = congrats on the race - too bad about the accident !!!!
    Sorry you re struggling a bit but at least you are able to realize it - stay strong and remember how much u have to look forward to and how far u have come!!!!! xo aimee

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  4. you = total hero status for helping out during the race! how scary, i am SO GLAD you are ok!!! aw hun, i am sorry that your ED tendencies have been sneaking back in. But i am so proud of you for recognizing it and calling yourself out on it. Yes, it's totally understandable why these old habits and behaviors would emerge during a time of stress/change, but you're right: that doesn't make it ok! you deserve so much more than to get sucked into ED's old ways every time life throws something new and potentially awesome your way. you will get things back on track, i know it! it's great that you're reaching out. if i can do anything let me know! ps too bad i didn't know you liked those raw revolution bars, i bought a bunch and HATED them so i gave them to my cousin, but would gladly have sent them your way!

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